Introduction: Why Your Parents Need to Understand VPN Technology
The digital landscape has fundamentally shifted over the past five years, and your parents' online security has never been more critical. According to recent cybersecurity reports, individuals aged 55 and older represent one of the fastest-growing demographics for cybercrime victimization, with losses exceeding $1 billion annually from fraud and data breaches targeting this demographic. Yet many parents and grandparents navigate the internet without understanding the basic security tools that could protect their personal information, financial accounts, and digital identities.
This knowledge gap isn't due to lack of intelligence—it's simply a matter of generational technology adoption. Your parents likely understand security in the physical world intimately: they lock their doors, they don't share cash with strangers, and they're careful about who they give their address to. But translating these same security principles to the digital realm requires understanding new concepts and technologies, particularly Virtual Private Networks (VPNs).
The challenge lies in explaining complex technological concepts in simple, relatable terms. Most technical explanations assume baseline knowledge that older adults simply don't have. Marketing materials often use jargon that obscures rather than clarifies the actual benefits. And frankly, many older adults have developed a healthy skepticism about new technologies after decades of watching tech companies overpromise and underdeliver.
This guide approaches the problem differently. Rather than starting with technical specifications, we'll build understanding through analogies, real-world scenarios, and practical demonstrations. You'll learn how to explain what a VPN actually does, why it matters for your parents' specific situation, what risks they face without proper security measures, and how to help them implement VPN protection without overwhelming them with complexity.
The goal isn't to make your parents into cybersecurity experts. It's to give them enough understanding to make informed decisions about their online safety and to recognize why you're recommending VPN protection for their digital devices.
Understanding VPNs: Starting with Familiar Concepts
The Locked Envelope Analogy
Begin with a comparison your parents will immediately understand: traditional mail security. When you send a letter through the postal service, anyone handling it can see your address, the recipient's address, and even hold it up to light to guess at contents. The envelope provides minimal protection.
Now imagine a different scenario: you place your letter in a locked box, give it to a trusted courier service, and they hand-deliver it to the recipient while keeping the box locked the entire time. No one along the delivery route knows what's inside, where it came from, or where it's going—they only know the courier service is involved.
A VPN works similarly with internet traffic. Without a VPN, your web browsing activity is like that unprotected letter—anyone between your home and the websites you visit can see what you're doing. Your Internet Service Provider (ISP), your Wi Fi router, network administrators, and potentially malicious actors can observe your online activities. With a VPN, your internet traffic travels through an encrypted "locked box" that obscures both the content and often the destination.
This analogy successfully conveys several crucial concepts: encryption protects content, routing through a trusted intermediary hides your identity and activities, and security requires actively using protection rather than hoping nothing goes wrong.
The Hotel Wi Fi Scenario
Many adults over 60 have stayed in hotels, used airport Wi Fi, or connected to public networks. These settings provide an excellent, concrete example of VPN value. Ask your parents about their experience on public Wi Fi networks. Have they ever worried about using their email or checking their bank account on an unsecured network? Most will admit they have.
Explain that their home Wi Fi can present similar risks, particularly if it's not properly secured or if neighbors can access it. More importantly, when they browse the internet from anywhere, they're vulnerable to network monitoring. A VPN creates a secure tunnel regardless of which network they're using—whether it's their home Wi Fi, a coffee shop, or an airport.
This scenario resonates because it addresses a concrete concern many parents already have. They've likely heard warnings about public Wi Fi. A VPN positioned as a solution to a problem they've already identified becomes immediately relevant rather than abstract.
The Privacy Curtain Concept
Your parents understand the concept of privacy in the physical world. They close bathroom doors, they don't want neighbors watching through their windows, and they expect conversations to remain between the people involved. Explain that a VPN provides similar privacy for digital activities.
Without a VPN, their internet service provider essentially has a window into everything they do online. They can see which websites you visit, how long you stay there, and often infer what you're reading or searching for. This ISP monitoring happens automatically—they see this data as part of providing your internet service. While ISPs claim not to actively sell individual browsing data, the capability exists and has been exploited in various data breaches.
A VPN draws a curtain across that window. The ISP can see that you're using a VPN, but they cannot see what you're doing inside that encrypted connection. Your websites visited, your searches, your online activities remain private.
People aged 60+ face the highest average online fraud loss, estimated at $1,400 per victim. Estimated data based on typical trends.
Specific Security Threats Your Parents Face
Identity Theft and Financial Fraud
Identity theft represents the most concrete threat your parents likely already worry about, even if they don't fully understand the digital mechanisms. Criminals steal personal information and use it to open credit accounts, make purchases, or access existing accounts. The Federal Trade Commission reports that people aged 60 and older lose more money to fraud than any other demographic, with an average loss of $1,400 per victim.
Explain that much of this stolen information originates from unencrypted internet activity. When your parents access their bank account from an unsecured network without a VPN, their login credentials can potentially be intercepted. When they check email on public Wi Fi, sensitive information becomes visible. Criminals have tools that can passively monitor network traffic and extract this information automatically.
A VPN prevents this interception by encrypting all data before it leaves their device. Even if a criminal is monitoring the network, they see only encrypted gibberish rather than actual usernames, passwords, or financial information.
Phishing and Social Engineering
Phishing attacks—fraudulent emails or messages designed to trick people into revealing sensitive information—disproportionately target older adults. While a VPN doesn't prevent phishing directly, it forms part of a broader security picture. More importantly, understanding VPN protection helps your parents understand the broader concept of secure online habits.
Explain that criminals use multiple methods to trick people: fake websites that look legitimate, emails appearing to come from trusted sources, and social engineering tactics that exploit natural helpfulness and trust. These attacks don't require sophisticated technology—they rely on psychological manipulation. A VPN doesn't protect against the psychology, but it ensures that when they're tricked into visiting a fraudulent website, that visit doesn't expose their device to malware that can steal information directly from their computer.
Device Hacking and Malware
Some of the most dangerous online threats work by infecting devices with malware—malicious software that operates without the user's knowledge. Ransomware locks a user's computer and demands payment for access. Spyware monitors activity and steals information. Keyloggers record everything typed, capturing passwords and credit card numbers.
Older adults face heightened risk partly because they're less likely to maintain updated security software and partly because they're more likely to trust downloaded files or email attachments. Your parents might download an attachment from an email they believe came from their bank, not realizing it's actually malware.
While a VPN doesn't prevent malware infection directly, it serves as a protective layer. If malware does infect their device, the VPN prevents it from broadcasting stolen information back to criminals in plaintext. Additionally, many VPN services include built-in protection against known malicious websites, blocking access before infection can occur.
Data Collection and Profiling
Many of your parents' digital concerns focus on immediate security threats. However, explain that everyday internet activity generates data that companies collect, analyze, and monetize. Your parents' browsing history, search queries, location data, and online purchases create a detailed profile that advertisers and data brokers buy and sell.
While this might seem less urgent than identity theft, it has real consequences. Targeted advertising exploits psychological vulnerabilities, potentially leading older adults to click malicious ads or purchase ineffective products. Data brokers compile profiles used for discrimination in insurance pricing, employment decisions, and loan approvals. Your parents' data might even be sold to political campaigns for targeted manipulation.
A VPN prevents ISPs and many websites from easily building these detailed profiles. While determined advertisers can still track users, a VPN significantly reduces the amount of data collected about daily internet activity.
Older adults (60+) face the highest average financial loss to fraud, with an estimated $1,400 per victim. Estimated data based on typical trends.
The Practical Benefits Your Parents Will Appreciate
Secure Online Banking and Shopping
Your parents almost certainly use online banking, and many make purchases online. These activities involve sensitive financial information that absolutely requires protection. Explain that a VPN provides an essential layer of security for these transactions.
When they check their bank balance or make a transfer with a VPN active, their banking information travels through an encrypted tunnel. Their bank's security measures add another layer of protection, but the VPN prevents their ISP, Wi Fi network, or other intermediaries from seeing this sensitive data.
Similarly, online shopping involves entering credit card numbers or personal information. A VPN ensures this information cannot be intercepted during transmission. This becomes especially important when shopping on public Wi Fi, though protection on home networks matters as well.
Many financial institutions actually recommend VPN usage for security-conscious customers. Some banks display messages encouraging customers to use secure connections when accessing accounts from public networks. Presenting VPN usage as a financial best practice aligns it with responsible money management—a concept your parents already value.
Safe Email Usage
Email represents a critical communication channel for your parents, but it also carries significant security risks. Important financial information, account recovery codes, and sensitive documents frequently travel through email. Without a VPN, email content and metadata (sender information, recipient information, subject line) can potentially be monitored.
Explain that when using email with a VPN active, this information travels through an encrypted tunnel. The VPN provider cannot read email content (assuming email itself is encrypted through the email provider's security), and your ISP cannot monitor which emails are being sent or received.
This becomes particularly important for parents who use email for recovering account passwords, as password reset emails often contain sensitive recovery links or temporary passwords. A VPN ensures these critical messages travel securely.
Protection on Home Networks
Many parents assume their home Wi Fi is secure simply because it's at home. Explain that without proper security measures and a VPN, even home networks present risks. Neighbors might access the network without permission. Devices on the network might have been infected with malware that can spy on other devices. Even properly secured home networks expose some data to the ISP.
A VPN creates a secure tunnel from their device to the VPN provider's servers, protecting their activity regardless of whether the underlying network (home, mobile, public) is secure. This means your parents get consistent security whether they're browsing at home, at their grandchildren's house, in a coffee shop, or traveling.
Peace of Mind and Confidence
Beyond specific technical benefits, explain that a VPN provides psychological security—confidence that reasonable precautions are in place to protect their digital activities. Your parents likely feel vulnerable online because they don't fully understand the threats. A VPN, like a locked door, represents a concrete security measure they can understand and verify is active.
This peace of mind has real value. When your parents feel more confident in their online security, they're more likely to engage with digital tools, take advantage of online services, and maintain their independence. They might videoconference with grandchildren more often, join social groups, or handle more of their own financial management online.
Common Misconceptions About VPNs
"VPNs Make Me Completely Anonymous"
Many VPN advertisements promise complete anonymity, which sets unrealistic expectations. Clarify that a VPN improves privacy and security but doesn't create total anonymity. When your parents use a VPN to access a website, the website sees the VPN provider's server IP address rather than their home IP address, so the website cannot directly identify where they're connecting from. However, the website can still identify them if they log into an account. If they type their name, email, or other identifying information, that data is visible to the website.
A VPN also doesn't hide their identity from the VPN provider itself. If the VPN provider wanted to, they could theoretically log which accounts access which websites. This is why choosing a reputable, trustworthy VPN provider matters—you're relying on their privacy policies and technical architecture to protect data.
Additionally, more sophisticated tracking methods like browser fingerprinting can potentially identify users even with a VPN active. A VPN should be understood as a helpful security and privacy tool, not a magic solution that makes you invisible online.
"If I'm Using a VPN, I Can Do Anything Safely"
Some people believe that a VPN protects against all online threats. While helpful, a VPN doesn't protect against:
- Phishing attacks: A VPN doesn't prevent you from being tricked into visiting fraudulent websites or clicking malicious links
- Malware from downloads: If you download infected files, a VPN doesn't prevent infection
- Social engineering: A VPN doesn't protect against psychological manipulation tactics
- Poor passwords: A VPN doesn't prevent someone from guessing or cracking your passwords
- Personal user error: Sharing sensitive information with untrustworthy people isn't prevented by a VPN
Explain that a VPN should be part of a broader security practice that includes strong passwords, caution about suspicious emails and links, regular software updates, and general skepticism about too-good-to-be-true offers online.
"VPNs Are Illegal or Only for Hackers"
Your parents might have heard that VPNs are used by criminals or might associate them with illegal activity. Explain that VPNs are perfectly legal for legitimate use in most countries, including the United States, Canada, Australia, and most European nations. Businesses, military organizations, and government agencies use VPNs routinely for security. Your parents using a VPN is no different from locking their door or using a password—normal security practice.
While criminals can abuse VPNs (as they can abuse many tools), the existence of legitimate security benefits means VPNs serve important purposes for ordinary people who simply want privacy and protection.
"VPNs Are Too Complicated for Me"
Many older adults assume VPN setup and usage are beyond their technical capability. Modern VPN applications have made this much simpler than it was historically. Installing a VPN application is often just two or three clicks. Using it is typically as simple as clicking a "Connect" button. The process doesn't require understanding the underlying technology any more than driving a car requires understanding internal combustion engines.
Demonstrate the actual process on their device. When they see how simple the interface is, their confidence will increase significantly.
ExpressVPN and NordVPN lead in ease of use and customer support, making them ideal for non-technical users. Estimated data based on typical service reviews.
Step-by-Step Guide to Explaining VPNs to Your Parents
Step 1: Assess Their Current Understanding and Concerns
Before launching into explanations, understand where your parents start. Ask open-ended questions: "What do you know about internet security?" "Do you have concerns about online privacy?" "Have you heard of VPNs before?" "What have you heard about them?"
Listen carefully to their responses. Their concerns and knowledge level should shape your explanation. If they're worried about identity theft, lead with that benefit. If they use public Wi Fi frequently, emphasize that use case. If they're skeptical about technology generally, start with simple analogies rather than technical details.
Step 2: Establish Why This Matters to Them Personally
Generic security warnings don't motivate behavior change. Make the issue personal and concrete. Connect to their specific activities and concerns. "Since you check your bank account online, a VPN ensures your passwords stay protected." "Because you shop online, a VPN keeps your credit card information from being intercepted." "Since you videoconference with the grandchildren, a VPN protects that connection."
Explain that data breaches happen constantly, and their information might already be compromised from previous breaches at major companies. A VPN can't undo past breaches, but it prevents future exposure.
Step 3: Use Clear, Everyday Analogies
Introduce the locked envelope or privacy curtain analogy. Explain that without a VPN, their internet activity is like sending postcards through the mail—anyone handling it can read what's written. With a VPN, their activity is like sealed, locked envelopes that only the intended recipient can open.
Use analogies they can relate to from their own experience. If they're drivers, compare it to tinting car windows so people outside can't see inside. If they've traveled, compare it to using a tour guide who shields them from attention while showing them around a foreign country.
Be consistent with analogies. Don't switch between different metaphors for the same concept, as this creates confusion.
Step 4: Explain What a VPN Actually Does (In Simple Terms)
After establishing understanding through analogies, introduce the technical basics simply:
"A VPN is a service that encrypts (scrambles) your internet activity and routes it through secure servers. This means websites can't see your location, your internet provider can't see what you're doing, and hackers can't intercept your information."
That's sufficient. They don't need to understand how encryption algorithms work, how protocols function, or technical details beyond this basic description.
Step 5: Address Concerns and Misconceptions
Your parents will likely have questions and concerns. Common ones include:
- "Will it slow down my internet?" – Minimal impact on most connections. Some VPN services have better speed than others, but most modern connections can handle the slight overhead.
- "Is it legal?" – Yes, completely legal for personal use.
- "Will my bank think I'm using it fraudulently?" – No, banks don't prohibit VPN usage. Some actually recommend it.
- "Can I still do my normal activities?" – Yes, everything works the same, just more securely.
- "What if I mess something up?" – VPN applications are simple; you can disconnect anytime and ask for help.
Answer these directly and honestly. Acknowledge valid concerns rather than dismissing them.
Step 6: Demonstrate the Actual Process
Theory means less than seeing it in action. On their device or yours:
- Show them how to download a reputable VPN application (from their device's official app store)
- Walk through installation (which requires minimal interaction)
- Show them the application interface
- Click the "Connect" button
- Show them how simple the "Connected" status appears
- Demonstrate that websites still work normally while connected
- Show them how easily they can disconnect
This practical demonstration often eliminates concern. When they see how simple the process is, their reluctance typically decreases.
Step 7: Start With Low Pressure Experimentation
Don't insist they use a VPN constantly immediately. Instead, suggest they try using it for specific activities: "Try using it when checking your bank account." "Connect when shopping online." "Use it when we videoconference."
Once they experience VPN usage without problems in these specific contexts, they'll become more comfortable expanding usage to other activities.
Step 8: Provide Simple, Written Instructions
After your conversation, leave written instructions they can reference:
- How to download the VPN application (with screenshots)
- How to install it
- How to connect and disconnect
- Who to contact if they have questions
- What to do if something doesn't work
Keep instructions in simple language with large text. Number each step clearly. Include screenshots showing exactly what they should see on their screen.
Step 9: Offer Ongoing Support
Let them know you're available for questions. They might feel confused or worried after disconnecting from a VPN, wondering if something went wrong. Quick reassurance prevents anxiety and builds confidence. Schedule a follow-up conversation in a week to see how it's going and answer questions.
Step 10: Celebrate Their Security Improvement
When they successfully use a VPN, acknowledge it positively. "You're doing a great job protecting yourself online." "I'm impressed you got that set up so quickly." This positive reinforcement encourages continued usage and builds confidence in their technical abilities.
Choosing a VPN: What to Recommend
Evaluating VPN Services
With thousands of VPN services available, selecting one to recommend to your parents can feel overwhelming. Focus on a few key criteria:
Trust and Reputation: Look for VPN services with established track records, transparent privacy policies, and independent security audits. Services that have been audited by third parties and publicize those results indicate confidence in their security claims.
Ease of Use: The interface should be simple enough that your parents can understand it without technical knowledge. Look for apps with large buttons, clear status indicators, and minimal configuration options. Avoid services requiring terminal commands or complex configuration.
Customer Support: Your parents might need help occasionally. Services offering email or live chat support (not just community forums) provide accessible help. Some services offer phone support, which can be especially valuable for older adults.
Reliable Performance: The VPN shouldn't dramatically slow internet connections or frequently disconnect. Services with many server locations typically provide better performance by offering servers geographically close to the user.
Transparent Pricing: The service should clearly state pricing with no hidden fees. Beware services offering suspiciously cheap or free VPN services, as they often monetize user data.
Recommended Services for Parents
While many VPN services exist, several have proven particularly suitable for non-technical older adults:
Express VPN: Consistently scores highly for ease of use and customer support. Their interface is intuitive, their customer support is responsive, and their pricing is transparent. The monthly cost is higher than some competitors, but the reliability and support justify the expense for peace-of-mind conscious parents.
Nord VPN: Offers a balance of security features, reasonable pricing, and an increasingly user-friendly interface. Their application walks new users through setup with helpful explanations, making it suitable for less technical users.
Proton VPN: Created by a privacy-focused company with a strong reputation, Proton VPN offers a clean interface and includes additional security features. They also offer a free tier with limited functionality, allowing your parents to try before committing financially.
Mullvad: Prioritizes privacy with truly anonymous accounts (no email required, no logs, no identification), appeals to privacy-conscious users, though the interface requires slightly more technical comfort.
Cyber Ghost: Known for ease of use with a simple interface and one-click connection. They offer specialized profiles for different use cases (browsing, streaming, etc.) that can appeal to users who benefit from guided options.
Avoid free VPN services of unknown origin, VPNs with poor user reviews, and services that make unrealistic security claims. Research any recommendation before suggesting it to your parents.
Estimated data shows trust issues and complexity are the top concerns for parents considering VPNs.
Setting Up a VPN: A Parent-Friendly Process
Device Compatibility
Ensure the VPN service you choose works on your parents' devices. Most modern VPN services support Windows, mac OS, i OS, and Android. Older devices (Windows XP, very old Android versions) might not have compatible VPN applications. Verify compatibility before recommending a specific service.
Initial Setup and Installation
Installing a VPN application follows these general steps:
- Open the device's official app store (Microsoft Store for Windows, App Store for Mac/i OS, Google Play for Android)
- Search for the VPN service name
- Click "Install" or "Get"
- Wait for installation to complete (usually 1-3 minutes)
- Open the application
- Create an account (or sign in if they already have one)
- Review any prompts about permissions
- Accept the terms if they're comfortable
The entire process typically takes 5-10 minutes. Walking through this with your parents, either in person or over a video call, significantly eases concerns.
Creating and Securing Accounts
When creating a VPN account, help your parents establish a strong password they can remember. Strong passwords:
- Contain at least 12 characters
- Mix uppercase and lowercase letters
- Include numbers and symbols
- Don't use dictionary words or personal information
- Avoid patterns like 123456 or QWERTY
Suggestion: Have them use a passphrase of random words with numbers between them: "Purple 94 Elephant 28 Keyboard" is stronger and easier to remember than random characters.
Write the password down and store it securely (not on a sticky note on the monitor, but perhaps in a password manager or a locked drawer). Consider helping them set up a password manager to store VPN credentials and other passwords securely.
Configuration Recommendations
Most VPN applications work well with default settings, so your parents shouldn't need to configure anything complex. However, a few settings worth mentioning:
Auto-connect on startup: Enable this so the VPN automatically activates when they turn on their device. This ensures they're protected without remembering to manually connect.
Kill switch: If the VPN disconnects unexpectedly, a kill switch prevents internet usage until the VPN reconnects. This prevents accidental unprotected activity. Enable this for security-conscious users.
Location selection: Most VPN services automatically select the best server location. For most users, this is sufficient. Explain that they can switch locations if needed, but the automatic selection usually works best.
Avoid complex settings they don't understand. Simpler is better for peace of mind.
Addressing Specific Parent Concerns
"This Seems Like Too Much Trouble"
Some parents might feel that VPN setup and usage is too complicated relative to the benefit. Address this by:
- Demonstrating how simple actual usage is (one button click)
- Emphasizing that setup is one-time work; usage is effortless
- Comparing it to other security measures they already use without hesitation (locking doors, using passwords)
- Starting with limited usage (just for banking/shopping) rather than all activities
- Offering to set it up for them completely so they just need to use it
Sometimes the simplest solution is offering to handle the technical setup entirely. You install the application, create the account, test it, and leave them with a simple instruction: "Click this button before using your computer." This eliminates the complexity concern.
"I Don't Trust Giving My Information to Another Company"
This concern is legitimate and worth addressing seriously. Explain:
- They're already trusting their ISP with all internet activity—the VPN provider is instead of the ISP seeing their activity
- Reputable VPN services have incentives to protect user data (reputation, legal liability, customers leaving if privacy is breached)
- They can research reviews from independent security experts who have audited the VPN service
- Some VPN services have legal structures (located in privacy-friendly countries) that prevent government demands for user data
- Free or cheap VPN services might monetize data, but established paid services don't
If your parents remain skeptical of new companies, free trials or limited-time offers allow them to test the service before committing. Some VPN services offer 30-day money-back guarantees, removing financial risk from trying the service.
"What If Something Goes Wrong?"
Parents worry about breaking something or making their devices worse. Reassure them:
- A VPN application is just software that can be uninstalled like any other application
- Using a VPN cannot harm their device or data
- If something unexpected happens, they can simply delete the VPN application
- You're available to help if anything confuses them
- VPN customer support is available for technical questions
Walking through the uninstall process can provide comfort. When they know they can easily remove the application, the psychological barrier to trying it decreases significantly.
"Why Do I Need This If I'm Not Doing Anything Wrong?"
This common objection reflects a misunderstanding about privacy. Explain that privacy isn't about hiding wrongdoing—it's about personal dignity and security. Use analogies:
- "You close your bathroom door even though you're not doing anything wrong."
- "You wouldn't give your bank account number to everyone you meet even though you're not doing anything illegal."
- "You lock your car even when parking in safe neighborhoods."
- "You don't publish your address in the newspaper even though there's nothing wrong with your address."
Privacy is a normal human value independent of whether someone has something to hide. Additionally, explain that the data collected about online activity can be misused—for targeted scams, discriminatory pricing, or manipulation—even if the browsing itself is perfectly innocent.
Estimated data shows identity theft and public WiFi security as top concerns for VPN use among typical online activities.
Practical Scenarios: When Your Parents Will Actually Use VPNs
Scenario 1: Online Banking and Financial Management
Your parent receives a bill notification and decides to pay it online. They open their bank's website and log in. With VPN enabled:
- Their login credentials are encrypted
- The transaction information is protected
- Their bank balance remains private
- Their ISP cannot track that they accessed their bank
Walkthrough: Have them use their VPN before accessing any financial websites. Make this a habit: "Always connect your VPN before accessing your bank account."
Scenario 2: Online Shopping
Your parent wants to purchase something from an online retailer. They add items to their cart and proceed to checkout, entering their credit card information. With VPN enabled:
- Credit card data is encrypted during transmission
- The transaction cannot be intercepted
- Their shopping history is not visible to their ISP
- Targeted scams based on their browsing are less likely
Walkthrough: Before entering any payment information online, verify the VPN is connected by checking the app status.
Scenario 3: Using Public Wi Fi (Coffee Shop, Airport, Hotel)
Your parent is traveling and needs to check email at a coffee shop. They connect to the public Wi Fi. With VPN enabled:
- Everyone on the public Wi Fi cannot see their email or data
- Hackers monitoring the public network cannot intercept information
- Their data is protected despite the unsecured network
Walkthrough: Before connecting to public Wi Fi, open the VPN application and connect. Wait for the connected status. Then connect to the Wi Fi. This ensures they're always protected.
Scenario 4: Video Communication with Family
Your parent videoconferences with you or grandchildren to stay connected. With VPN enabled:
- The video connection is more secure
- Their location is not broadcast to the videoconference platform
- Their home network is less exposed
Walkthrough: Connect to VPN before opening any videoconference application. This ensures the session is protected from the start.
Scenario 5: General Browsing and Email
Your parent browses their favorite websites—news, hobbies, forums, social media. With VPN enabled:
- Their browsing history is private from their ISP
- Websites see a generic location rather than their home address
- Data brokers have less information about their interests
- Targeted ads based on their specific activity are reduced
Walkthrough: Suggest they keep the VPN enabled all the time when browsing, rather than only for sensitive activities. This provides consistent protection.
Overcoming Technical Challenges
Slow Internet While Using VPN
Occasionally, VPN usage slightly reduces internet speed. This is normal—the encryption/decryption process and routing through additional servers adds minimal overhead. Most users don't notice a difference on modern connections.
If your parents report slow internet, troubleshoot by:
- Checking their base internet speed without VPN (visit speedtest.net)
- Trying different server locations within the VPN application
- Contacting the VPN customer support to verify their servers are performing normally
- Ensuring their home Wi Fi is working properly (restart the router)
- Checking if other devices are consuming bandwidth
Reassure them that very minor speed reduction is normal and acceptable for the security benefit. If the VPN is dramatically slowing their connection, switch to a different VPN service.
VPN Disconnects
Occasionally, VPN connections drop unexpectedly. Modern VPN applications usually reconnect automatically if enabled. If disconnections happen frequently:
- Restart the VPN application
- Restart their device
- Try a different VPN server location
- Contact VPN customer support
- Check if a software update is available for the VPN application
- Ensure their internet connection is stable (restart their Wi Fi router)
Explain that occasional disconnections happen and are usually resolved by reconnecting. If it's a persistent problem, customer support can help troubleshoot.
Website Compatibility Issues
Rarely, websites block connections from VPN servers. This happens because some websites don't want traffic from unknown locations for security or business reasons. If your parents encounter this:
- Disconnect the VPN (just click disconnect in the app)
- Access the website without VPN
- Conduct their activity
- Reconnect the VPN
Alternatively, try a different VPN server location, as not all VPN servers are blocked by all websites. Most websites work fine with VPNs, so this is uncommon.
Forgetting the VPN is Connected
Sometimes your parents might wonder why their internet looks different or seems slower—they've forgotten that the VPN is running. Clarify that the VPN running in the background is intentional and good. A simple check of the VPN application's status confirms it's connected and protecting them.
Consider setting the VPN to auto-connect when they start their device, so they don't need to remember to connect it. It becomes as automatic as the Wi Fi connecting.
Two-factor authentication is estimated to be the most effective security measure, closely followed by regular software updates. Estimated data.
Making VPN Usage a Habit
Building the Automatic Response
Initially, using a VPN requires conscious effort. Your parents need to remember to connect before sensitive activities. Over time, this should become automatic—as natural as locking the door when leaving the house.
Support habit-building by:
- Creating specific triggers: "Always connect before opening your banking app," "Always connect when you see the public Wi Fi symbol"
- Setting up auto-connect so they don't need to remember
- Praising them for using it: "Great job remembering to connect!"
- Celebrating milestones: "You've been using a VPN for a month—you're doing great protecting yourself"
- Checking in periodically: "Are you having any problems with your VPN?"
Extending Protection to All Devices
If your parents use multiple devices—a computer, tablet, smartphone—consider installing VPN on all of them. Explain that they should be protected wherever they go online, not just on one device.
Many VPN services allow simultaneous connections on multiple devices, meaning they can be protected on their phone and computer at the same time. This comprehensive protection is simpler than remembering which device has VPN protection.
Updating and Maintaining the VPN
Occasionally, VPN applications release updates. Most applications update automatically, but some notify the user that an update is available. Explain that these updates improve security and fix problems, so they should be applied. Usually, this is just a matter of clicking an "Update" button and waiting for the installation.
If your parents get update notifications, help them understand that updates are good and should be done. Offer to help with the process if they're unsure.
Beyond VPNs: A Comprehensive Security Approach
While VPNs are valuable, they're part of a broader security picture. Reinforce these additional practices:
Strong Passwords and Password Management
Passwords protect access to accounts. Weak passwords compromise the protection a VPN provides. Recommend that your parents:
- Use unique passwords for each important account (banking, email, social media)
- Use passwords with at least 12 characters, mixing letters, numbers, and symbols
- Avoid using personal information or dictionary words
- Consider using a password manager to generate and securely store passwords
Password managers like Bitwarden, 1 Password, or Dashlane handle password complexity so your parents don't need to remember complicated passwords. They only need to remember one strong master password.
Regular Software Updates
Software updates patch security vulnerabilities that hackers exploit. Recommend that your parents:
- Enable automatic updates for their operating system
- Update applications when prompted
- Regularly check that their antivirus software (if used) is current
Updates can be annoying because they require restarts, but they're critical for security.
Skepticism About Suspicious Communications
Phishing emails and scam messages prey on trust. Train your parents to:
- Never click links in suspicious emails; instead, navigate directly to the website
- Verify sender addresses (phishers often use addresses that look similar to legitimate ones)
- Be suspicious of urgent requests or threats ("Verify your account immediately!")
- Call companies directly if unsure whether a communication is legitimate
- Never download attachments from unknown senders
Provide specific examples of phishing attempts. Show them what a real bank email looks like versus a phishing email. This concrete training is more effective than abstract warnings.
Two-Factor Authentication
Two-factor authentication (2FA) requires a second form of identity verification beyond a password. Even if someone obtains a password, they cannot access an account without this second factor (usually a code from a phone or email).
Recommend enabling 2FA on:
- Email accounts
- Banking accounts
- Social media accounts
- Important service accounts
Explain that 2FA adds a modest inconvenience (receiving and entering a code) that significantly increases security. The minor friction is worth the protection.
Backup Systems
If a computer is infected with ransomware or damaged, backups prevent data loss. Recommend that your parents:
- Enable automatic cloud backup (Google Drive, One Drive, i Cloud)
- Regularly backup important files
- Keep backups separate from their main device
Explain that if something goes wrong, they won't lose family photos, documents, or important files because backups exist.
FAQ
What exactly is a VPN and how does it work?
A Virtual Private Network (VPN) is a service that encrypts your internet traffic and routes it through secure servers, hiding your actual IP address and location. When you connect to a VPN, your device creates an encrypted tunnel to the VPN provider's servers, which then connects to the websites you visit. This means websites see the VPN server's address rather than yours, your ISP cannot see which websites you visit, and hackers cannot intercept your data even on public Wi Fi networks. The encryption scrambles your data so only your device and the VPN provider's servers can read it.
Why should my parents use a VPN specifically?
Your parents should use a VPN because they face specific online threats including identity theft, financial fraud, and data collection by ISPs and advertisers. People aged 60+ lose more money to online fraud than any other age group, with an average loss of $1,400 per victim. A VPN protects their banking information when checking accounts online, encrypts their passwords so they cannot be intercepted, secures their shopping transactions, and prevents their ISP from monitoring their online activities. Additionally, a VPN provides peace of mind—a concrete security measure they can verify is protecting them.
Is using a VPN legal for personal use?
Yes, using a VPN for personal security and privacy is completely legal in most countries including the United States, Canada, Australia, and most European nations. Businesses, military organizations, and government agencies use VPNs routinely. The legality concerns some people express often stem from news stories about criminals using VPNs, but legitimate security tools are perfectly legal to use. Your parents using a VPN for banking and online shopping is no different from any other responsible security practice.
Will a VPN slow down my parents' internet significantly?
A VPN may cause a very minor speed reduction—typically so small that most users don't notice it on modern connections. The encryption and decryption process plus routing through additional servers adds minimal overhead. If your parents are experiencing dramatic slowdowns, you can try selecting a different VPN server location geographically closer to them, upgrade to a faster internet plan, or switch to a different VPN service with better performance. For most users, the security benefit far outweighs any imperceptible speed change.
Can a VPN protect my parents from phishing attacks?
A VPN does not directly prevent phishing attacks, as these rely on psychological manipulation rather than network security. However, a VPN can protect against the consequences of falling for a phishing attempt by preventing malware from broadcasting stolen information back to criminals in plaintext. Additionally, many VPN services include features that block access to known malicious websites before they load. The best protection against phishing involves teaching your parents to recognize suspicious emails, verify sender addresses, and avoid clicking unfamiliar links—practices that complement VPN protection.
What's the difference between a free VPN and a paid VPN service?
Free VPN services often monetize user data to generate revenue, defeating the purpose of privacy protection. Paid VPN services like Express VPN, Nord VPN, and Proton VPN generate revenue through subscriptions and have incentives to protect user privacy and security. Paid services typically offer better speed, more server locations, more reliable connections, and actual customer support. For your parents, investing in a reputable paid VPN service ($5-15 per month) provides better security and peace of mind than free alternatives. Some paid services offer free trials so your parents can test before committing financially.
Can my parents use a VPN on their phone as well as their computer?
Yes, most VPN services support both computers and phones. Your parents can install VPN applications on Windows or Mac computers, i Phones, or Android phones. Many services allow simultaneous connections on multiple devices, meaning they can be protected on both their phone and computer at the same time. Installing VPN on all devices they use for sensitive activities—checking email, banking, shopping—ensures comprehensive protection. The installation process is similar across devices: download the app from the official store, create an account, and click connect.
What should I do if my parents have problems with their VPN?
Start with simple troubleshooting: restart the VPN application, restart their device, or try a different server location within the VPN app. Most issues resolve with these steps. If problems persist, contact the VPN service's customer support—reputable services offer email or live chat support. You can also reach out for help, but encourage your parents to attempt basic troubleshooting first so they build confidence. Most VPN services have helpful documentation and FAQs, and many offer video tutorials that your parents might find useful.
Will using a VPN prevent my parents from accessing their bank accounts?
No, using a VPN should not prevent access to legitimate banking websites. Banks do not prohibit VPN usage; many actually recommend it for security. Occasionally, a bank's fraud detection system might flag a VPN connection as unusual on a first use, potentially requiring additional verification. If this happens, your parents can verify their identity (through a code sent to their phone or email) to access their account. Once the VPN is recognized as legitimate, subsequent access should be seamless. If persistent problems occur, they can contact their bank's customer support to resolve the issue.
How often should my parents connect to their VPN?
For maximum protection, your parents should use their VPN whenever they're connected to the internet, not just for sensitive activities. Many users find it convenient to enable auto-connect so the VPN activates automatically when they start their device. This provides consistent protection without requiring them to remember to connect manually. At minimum, they should definitely use a VPN when accessing banking or financial websites, shopping online, connecting to public Wi Fi, or performing any activity involving personal information.
What happens if my parents accidentally disconnect their VPN?
If the VPN accidentally disconnects, their device immediately operates without protection, but they can quickly reconnect. This is why many VPN applications include a "kill switch" feature that prevents internet usage if the VPN drops unexpectedly—this prevents accidental unprotected activity. Explain to your parents that if they see their VPN showing as disconnected, they should click the connect button again. Modern VPN applications usually auto-reconnect when you click the app, so this is typically a one-click fix.
Conclusion: Empowering Your Parents' Online Security
Having a conversation with your parents about VPN importance might feel awkward initially. Technology discussions across generations can be challenging when knowledge levels differ significantly. However, this conversation is one of the most valuable ones you can have with aging parents because it addresses a real, present danger that affects their financial security, personal privacy, and digital independence.
Remember that your parents likely understand security concepts in the physical world better than anyone—they lock doors, protect valuables, and scrutinize suspicious situations. A VPN is simply translating those same security instincts into the digital realm. They're not learning something entirely new; they're applying familiar security principles to an unfamiliar medium.
Your goal isn't to make them cybersecurity experts. You're simply helping them understand why one specific tool—a VPN—provides valuable protection for their online activities. Success looks like them making an informed decision about using a VPN because they understand why it matters for their security, not because you've convinced them it's important.
Approach the conversation with patience and respect for their perspective. They've lived longer than you; they've learned complex systems before; they can learn this. Acknowledge that technology can be frustrating and confusing. Provide concrete, relatable examples. Answer their questions seriously rather than dismissing their concerns. Offer to help with setup and ongoing issues.
When they experience using a VPN without problems, when they realize how simple it actually is, and when they understand how it protects their financial accounts and personal information, they'll recognize the value themselves. The goal is informed independence—parents who can make deliberate choices about their online security based on actual understanding rather than trusting blindly or ignoring the risk entirely.
Beyond the specific conversation about VPNs, use this as an opportunity to discuss digital security more broadly. Help your parents understand that they can continue using the internet safely and independently, that help is available when they're unsure, and that taking reasonable precautions allows them to enjoy the benefits of online tools without excessive fear.
This Christmas, or whenever you next have quality time with your parents, have this conversation. It might become one of your most appreciated contributions to their wellbeing—certainly more impactful than some of the standard holiday gifts. And perhaps you'll find that explaining technology isn't as difficult as you feared. Your parents might surprise you with how quickly they grasp the concepts when explained in simple, relevant terms.
Start small. Pick one scenario—maybe online banking—and focus on that. Help them set up a VPN and use it for that specific activity. Build from there. In a few weeks, you'll check in and find they're using a VPN routinely, maybe even wondering why they didn't start sooner.
Your parents' digital security is worth the conversation, the effort, and the follow-up. Make it a priority, approach it with patience, and you'll help them stay safer online while maintaining their independence and confidence in the digital world.
Key Takeaways for Your Conversation
- VPNs use encryption and secure routing to protect online activity—start with the locked envelope analogy to explain this concept
- Your parents face specific, quantifiable threats—identity theft costs older adults $1+ billion annually; specific examples make the need concrete
- A VPN is just one part of comprehensive security—combine it with strong passwords, update practices, and skepticism about suspicious communications
- Modern VPN usage is extremely simple—the one-button interface removes technical barriers that worry non-technical users
- Start small with specific activities like banking—building confidence through low-risk trial usage works better than demanding they use a VPN for everything
- Ongoing support and reassurance matter—check in regularly and answer questions patiently; this builds their confidence and usage consistency
- The goal is informed, independent decision-making—help them understand enough to make deliberate choices about their own security
- Celebrate their security efforts—positive reinforcement encourages continued usage and builds their confidence in technical abilities
